2/14/16

The lead up to Valentine's Day was hard. I realized that study abroad boy wasn't going to pursue me and that we were definitely just friends. I was crushed and I was at the same place I had been in the middle of November. I had no desire or motivation for just about anything especially the idea of pursuing anyone! These people thoughts were also mixed up with so many thoughts for my future. There are so many decisions to make in my life over the next year. The thing I have realized the most is that I never thought that I would be single when I graduate and that I wasn't planning on pursuing a real career because I thought I was going to be mother. Over those weeks I needed to realize that I needed to be ok with the idea of being single when I graduate. Now this was not an easy thing to do. I really grappled with this idea. Then when I received my Valentine's Day package I realized that I had the choice to be happy even on a day as silly as Valentine's Day. So I made the choice and I changed. Of course I am not perfectly happy all of  the time, but there has been a huge difference. I am so much healthier emotionally for it. I am hopeful that this will bring about a good change for the future, to help the lows not be so low and for the highs to be even higher.